Sam and Me

Have you ever gone to an amusement park, found the perfect ride, and went through the lines over and over to ride it?  What is the draw?  Is it the rush caused by the highs and lows?  Is it the worry, anxiety, and tension that comes as the click click click goes uphill?  Is it knowing that the high will quickly drop out from under you into a helpless panic that you can't control until the ride stops?  I don't know what made me get on that ride or what made me keep riding.  But, the thing is...I had a choice to get off the ride after a few short minutes.
I think living with Aspergers is more like riding a crazy train.  We are enclosed in a capsule as we go through life looking at all the neurotypical people outside.  Sure, it goes up and down like a roller coaster, but it doesn't offer that sense of freedom that comes from riding in the wind.  I don't know what freedom is like anymore.  A train ride can last for hours or days, hours going downhill, days going uphill, but the Aspergers Train is endless.  Without choosing, Sam will ride it for as long as he lives.  I choose to ride with him side by side.  It is up to me to make the most of the journey, the adventure, and simple triumphs.
My son Sam was diagnosed at the age of four.  But, the truth is, we have been living with symptoms of Autism since he was born.  I just chose to dismiss my concerns and live in denial.  It was not until pre-school screening that I had to face Sam's reality. 
We felt alone, confused, guilty, responsible, and helpless.  I know that there are others like us in the world - others who don't feel heard - others who feel isolated - and others who feel like life with Autism Spectrum Disorder is a crazy ride.  Most importantly, I want to find others who want to be the best parents and loved ones for their child by giving them the support that they need and deserve.